Directors are always changing things at the last minute. Actors will do a scene, and the director will say, ‘Okay, that was perfect, but this time, Bob, instead of saying “What’s for dinner?” you say, “Wait a minute! Benzene is actually a hydrocarbon!” And say it with a Norwegian accent. Also, we think maybe your character should have no arms.

Are we ever going to have a federal tax system that regular people can understand?

There are no bad haircuts in cyberspace.

This nation is so friendly that the leading cause of injury is getting passionately embraced by strangers.

There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea, listening to the waves and the wind and the sails and voices downstairs yelling "HOW DO YOU FLUSH THESE TOILETS?"

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.