The issue we are reluctant to talk about is even more sensitive than condoms. The issue - and I will try to be tasteful here - is that sometimes it seems like maybe the president of the United States is kind of dumb. If you get what I mean. What I mean is, I am not totally confident that the president would get what I mean, unless several aides explained it to him. And even then, he might forget.

Greyhound Bus Lines motto: "We Stop For Some Damn Thing Every 200 Yards."

No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

When I was a kid, I thought history was the most boring subject of all. I shouldn't blame my teachers; I should blame me, but I'll blame them.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately.

I've never been struck by lightning as far as I know, so the Higher Power is treating me as well as even those people who love him very much.