If god wanted people to believe in him, why'd he invent logic then?
The course is so long, I had to take the curvature of the Earth into consideration.
Playing Augusta is like playing a Salvador Dali landscape. I expected a clock to fall out of the trees and hit me in the face.
Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.
Never has my flabber been so completely gasted.
That's the trouble with Nick. The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.