I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
I don't like throwing myself in a place that's going to rock my world.
The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?"
Single guys get a bad rap.
It's great to tell people you have your own show, but that's where the fun stops.
Staying in a hotel this time. They put me up in a little bit of a shithole. Yeah. Just this side of rinky dink. The first 7 floors are a homeless shelter, but I'm on 8.