It's hard to have a career.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.

Horrible date all through high school and college. Here's an impression of me on a date in high school. Come on, chug it!

It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

I have no detectable hair style.