When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality; it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.

As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.

My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.

People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.

It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.

It's hard to have a career.