When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.

Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.

I have no detectable hair style.

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

I want to get away from it all. Move to the sticks. Montana. Hundreds of miles from civilization. Get a cabin in the snow. Curl up with some cute girl. Say stuff to her like, Scream all you want, sugar. Ain't nobody gonna hear you!

It's so crazy in Hollywood.