I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.

My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.

The hard part about SNL is, there's no real communication when you get there. It's not like people are mean to you, they just act like you're not there.

Everyone is so weird in L.A. that if you're somewhat normal, it's exotic.

I want to get away from it all. Move to the sticks. Montana. Hundreds of miles from civilization. Get a cabin in the snow. Curl up with some cute girl. Say stuff to her like, Scream all you want, sugar. Ain't nobody gonna hear you!

It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.

Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.