Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise.

I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.

If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.

The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?"

Single guys get a bad rap.

I want to get away from it all. Move to the sticks. Montana. Hundreds of miles from civilization. Get a cabin in the snow. Curl up with some cute girl. Say stuff to her like, Scream all you want, sugar. Ain't nobody gonna hear you!

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.