I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.
I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.
To be famous and broke is hard.
I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.
In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.