On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week.

It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.

It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.

My career is just kind of crazy.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

Spent most of the summer looking for shade. Driving around. Shade. Please? Driving in malls. I'll park a mile away I don't care. I'm just looking for a tree branch, anything. Long weed. Big leaf, get the front corner panel under it. Oh precious shade, I have it - you don't!

If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.