I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.

The definition of adventure depends upon how boring your life is.

I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.

If I had to pick one artist to tile my bathroom I would go with MC Escher.

Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.

I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".