I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.

If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.

My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.

It seems that two of the most basic forms of comedy are jokes and stories. And, of course, they are not mutually exclusive.

Do you have any Greek in you? That was just a tactful way of asking if you're pregnant. If you're not, then let's break up.

What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!

'Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live."