I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okie dokie.' 'The good news is, she's okie dokie. The surgery went fine.'

'Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live."

I bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it... so I just added "ish" to every number.

A pipe is greater than a bong. Because when you're smoking a pipe at least it makes you look like you're thinking about something.

I don't like thank you cards because I don't know what else to say. What do I put on the inside? See Front.

I think one of the most groundbreaking inventions of all time is the jackhammer.

I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.