As a creative person, you want to have a foothold and sense of progress.

When I was in high school I experimented sexually. The experiment was to never have sex with anybody no matter how hard I tried. Success! Hypothesis confirmed.

Leave no stone unturned in your quest to disrupt a rock garden.

To remove all credibility from what you're saying try wearing sunglasses on your forehead.

Mosquito bites Jesus, receives communion.

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.