I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.

Jumping jacks are easier to do than crawling jacks.

If I had to pick one artist to tile my bathroom I would go with MC Escher.

The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.

I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it.

Yes, okay, it's cool to be quirky, maybe, on the side. Do some puzzles, make puzzles, whatever, learn how to ride a unicycle. That's cool when it's on the side and you have a plan. What happens when you remove the plan? What you're left with is a guy who likes to do anagrams. And doesn't have a job... Sweet, that's a catch.

If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.