I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.

It's very easy to go through your whole life and never really get anything done or have any real meaningful interactions or relationships. All of a sudden you're dead, and I'm going to say that's got to be a letdown.

I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, 'Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.' The paper I used said, 'Happy Birthday.' I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.

There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.

And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.

A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.