I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.

Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.

There's an old Russian saying that goes some way or another. I don't know it. I don't speak Russian. But sometimes I think about it and wonder if it's relevant to what I'm going through at the time. Probably not. I mean what do Russian know about hunger, anyway?

When someone shows you a picture of their kids what they don't want to hear is Oh, yeah, I got pictures of your kid too.

The earth without art is just eh.

I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over.

A car alarm is a way for a car to tell everyone that its owner is an asshole.