Don't talk to strangers. Sure, unless you want to meet anyone ever.

I am bravery. I am courage. I am valor. I am daring. I am holding a thesaurus.

I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.

There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.

I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.

Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.

I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.