Don't talk to strangers. Sure, unless you want to meet anyone ever.

The problem with most people, is that they are most people.

I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, "Cool, that one works".

I think the best thing about being dumb is that it makes magic a lot better. Where the hell did that rat come from? I dunno, but I'm calling the cops because he just cut that lady in half.

I bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it... so I just added "ish" to every number.

I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.

I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.