I never give anyone just one congratulation. Congratulations are always plural. They are similar to grapes.
Demetri MartinI've met a few people who were passive-aggressive, but I've never met anyone who was aggressive-passive. I don't want tacos! Maybe.
Demetri MartinI went to law school. I found it interesting for the first three weeks. By the fourth week, I found it tedious. I got bored and grew restless. I had no other plan for a job, because from seventh grade on, I had planned on law. So I shifted my focus from classes to extracurricular activities.
Demetri Martin