I think they named the orange before the carrot.

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.

Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?

You can make a very heavy and kind of dangerous 3-way shot glass out of a bowling ball.

When I used to go on the Wikipedia page, and I haven't gone on the page in a while, there used to be some guy who was doing my page and he would say that he was my cousin and I was going to be doing projects with him. I don't know who this person is and I don't have a cousin by this name and this person keeps saying that they're doing projects with me. It's so weird.

You know what's the greatest part of anything ever in the history of everything? Exaggeration. No, wait; it's correcting yourself. No, better yet, it's making lists.

Laborers want their kids to be merchants or business people. Business people want their kids to be professionals. Professionals want their kids to be academics, professors. Academics want their kids to be artists. And artists don't care if their kids are laborers or not. They can be anything.