I think they named the orange before the carrot.

If I were blind, I'd wear a blindfold all the time.

As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.

I am a ceiling fan, especially during rain.

For some reason cowboy sounds better than cowman.

My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.

Laborers want their kids to be merchants or business people. Business people want their kids to be professionals. Professionals want their kids to be academics, professors. Academics want their kids to be artists. And artists don't care if their kids are laborers or not. They can be anything.