Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed suit, dropping their last names too. And, for centuries after that there would be countless imitators including oltaire, Michelangelo, and, much later, Cher.

I am the Walrus, but not the one you're probably thinking of. I am the other Walrus, the one who is less the Walrus in the sense of legendary music and more the Walrus in the sense of his tendency to to lie around in places for too long.

To make a squirrel look less uptight, put tiny sunglasses on it.

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.

And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money.

I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.