I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'

I went to law school. I found it interesting for the first three weeks. By the fourth week, I found it tedious. I got bored and grew restless. I had no other plan for a job, because from seventh grade on, I had planned on law. So I shifted my focus from classes to extracurricular activities.

When people show me pictures of their kids, it's okay. But when I give them a picture of me, to show to their kids, I'm weird. What kind of one way street is that?

Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.

I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.

I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.