I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'

It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.

When I dropped out [from a law school], everybody was disappointed... But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. Before that, I never realized how much I sought other people's approval. Once I figured that out, I was free to move on and seek the approval of other people, in comedy clubs and showbiz meetings.

What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.

There is probably more invisible tape out there than we realize.

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.