I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.

When I was in high school I experimented sexually. The experiment was to never have sex with anybody no matter how hard I tried. Success! Hypothesis confirmed.

I just know keeping track of what I'm doing and where I'm going is important to me.

The chances of someone who looks like Jesus having pot raises steadily, to a point. If the guy is on a cross you may have the wrong guy.

I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no "chocohol". We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably "over-workaholled".

Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.

You can make a very heavy and kind of dangerous 3-way shot glass out of a bowling ball.