There's a saying that goes, 'People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.' OK. How about, 'Nobody should throw stones'? That's crappy behavior. My policy is, 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.

I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar.

I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.

I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.

I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like if a bird sh*t all over them.

Have a great day. Note: does not apply to my enemies.

My original goal was just to do stand-up but then I became interested in films - writing a film, shooting one someday, and getting to act in them.