I love having an open seat next to me on the train. What's even better is when my seat is open too because I just stayed home.

Sometimes I like to go outside without even checking the weather first.

The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.

And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money.

I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.

Everything I ever learned I was told by someone else.

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.