Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'

It seems that two of the most basic forms of comedy are jokes and stories. And, of course, they are not mutually exclusive.

Every fight is a food fight when youre a cannibal.

I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.

It turns out dentists don't like it very much when you show up for a cleaning in full vampire gear.

A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.

I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.