I think they should put pies on the fronts of trains, so that when they hit something it's at least a little bit funny.

Bowling would be more interesting if it were slightly uphill.

The other night I was playing twister with some amputees.

I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.

Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.

I have never been in a bad mood and near a beach ball at the same time. Causation? Correlation? Or fate?

Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.