It would be nice if people said, God bless you not just when you sneezed but also when you farted.

Our Times, a Brief History: As televisions became flatter, People became rounder.

If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give something to panic and wave you arms around and scream about.

It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.

I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'

The Pursuit of Happiness: It sure seems to like a good chase, doesn't it?

I went to law school. I found it interesting for the first three weeks. By the fourth week, I found it tedious. I got bored and grew restless. I had no other plan for a job, because from seventh grade on, I had planned on law. So I shifted my focus from classes to extracurricular activities.