This is a pie chart about procrastination.

I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.

I call it 'new forms'. When you're starting out, they ask you to do four or five minute sets, but once you're a headliner, you do like 90 minutes. I try to think of different things to divvy up the show, like doing drawings, playing music... I gotta carry the show, that's the problem.

I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.

The planets. Now footnote, I'm including Pluto in the planets, because I think it's terrible what they did to Pluto. And it's still a planet to me. I grew up with Pluto as a planet, it will always be a planet.

Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him. But life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.

Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.