I am a ceiling fan, especially during rain.

Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.

I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.

I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.

I think the most annoying language is a tie between all the ones I don't know how to speak.

Suicide is the #1 killer of a person who is in a boat and happens to be passing under a bridge at the wrong time.

I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.