Halloween: the day each year when strangers give you even more specific reasons to dislike them based on what they are wearing.

My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.

The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.

What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.

One thing I learned is that it's never OK to walk through a cemetery dressed as a mummy - even if that was a shortcut on the way to the costume party.

I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.

For some reason cowboy sounds better than cowman.