Sometimes it looks like I'm dancing, but it's just that I walked into a spider web.

What I've learned about my self over the years is that I'm pretty restless. If I multitask it's probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing.

Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks.

I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.

Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.

If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.

To remove blood stains from your conscience try frozen margaritas.