Sometimes it looks like I'm dancing, but it's just that I walked into a spider web.

When I am at rodeo I find it difficult not to root for the animals.

A lifevest protects you from drowning and a bulletproof vest protects you from getting shot, and a sweater vest protects you from pretty girls.

Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks.

I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'

My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

I am bravery. I am courage. I am valor. I am daring. I am holding a thesaurus.