'Dammit I'm mad' is 'Dammit I'm mad' spelled backwards.

I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.

I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.

My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

99.99% of all castles in America are located in fish tanks.

I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.

I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.