Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.

I find that a shirt is most similar to a napkin when I don't have a napkin.

Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.

It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.

I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me.

I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.