Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.

Have a great day. Note: does not apply to my enemies.

I always try to just be honest ... As opposed to artifice or manipulation.

Americans who do not celebrate Independence Day: pets.

Suicide is the #1 killer of a person who is in a boat and happens to be passing under a bridge at the wrong time.

I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.

I think they named the orange before the carrot.