I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti.

I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, "Cool, that one works".

The chances of someone who looks like Jesus having pot raises steadily, to a point. If the guy is on a cross you may have the wrong guy.

Drunken behavior will not be tolerated, except by those who are being hilarious.

I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the "crazy guy" at law school, which is the guy who is not so much "crazy" as "annoying."

I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.

They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.