I wanna see a snake eat spaghetti.

It is illegal to yell “fire” in a crowded theater. If there is a fire, please yell something else instead, like “Flames!” or “Smoke maker!” or “Bad hot!

The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.

I am a man. And I am former baby and a future skeleton, and I am a distant future pile of dust.

We do not allow dwarf tossing. If you toss a dwarf, the dwarf will be tossed right back at you, but faster.

Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.

Our Times, a Brief History: As televisions became flatter, People became rounder.