To remove blood stains from your conscience try frozen margaritas.
A pipe is greater than a bong. Because when you're smoking a pipe at least it makes you look like you're thinking about something.
It turns out dentists don't like it very much when you show up for a cleaning in full vampire gear.
It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.
Wind chimes are also earthquake chimes.
I saw a dog wearing a sweater and I thought that looked ridiculous 'cause dogs don't have arms. If you're going to put clothes on the dog, you should put two pairs of pants on it.