It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the dog's owner - and the distance you are from your car.

Yes" actually means "No" 100% of the time, when the question is "Can I give you some advice?

Vampires probably don't have great breath.

Another thing that I like and that's fun for me is to try and talk and play music at the same time, because I feel like I'm learning something. There are these little challenges built into it; it's a way to push myself a little bit more as a performer.

I like people, for a little while.

I would like a ship for the hips, please. Ships and hips. Hipsters to stir with their hips on the hip ships. And, of course, hips. Yeah, hip. That's me. I also like sips. I'm a slow drinker. A sipster. I'm a sipster hipster comedian. Yeah, sips. But more hips. Hip, hipster, hip star, hiptard. Definitely.

To remove all credibility from what you're saying try wearing sunglasses on your forehead.