I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.

The question is, 'how bad at sports were you as a kid?' I grew up near where they film Jersey Shore. If you weren't tan, muscular, and book-averse, you were a dork and a nerd and a geek and stuff. I remember being into Gary Larsen, Stephen Wright, Peter Sellers.

I like birthdays. Every time someone is born, that's just like bringing more cake into the world.

There are two kinds of jackets - reversible, and reversible but it's hard to zipper up and it looks really stupid.

I think if I pick the right thing to spend my time doing, then time moves differently, because I really can get fully immersed in things and feel very alive and challenged, but in a good way. I feel a sense of progress.

I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia.

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'