I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.

When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.

Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red wine. And if you're vegan, you're annoying.

Someday I will tell my grandchildren that I lived in the era when OK was abbreviated to K.

Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.

A power nap, is when you sleep on someone who's weaker than you

When I dropped out [from a law school], everybody was disappointed... But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. Before that, I never realized how much I sought other people's approval. Once I figured that out, I was free to move on and seek the approval of other people, in comedy clubs and showbiz meetings.