I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.

Tic Tacs are the maracas of breath mints.

I wanna buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make them live together.

You know what's the greatest part of anything ever in the history of everything? Exaggeration. No, wait; it's correcting yourself. No, better yet, it's making lists.

I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.

I am completely attracted to the idea of simplicity, or at least removing things that seem unnecessary when trying to get an idea out there.

It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.