Use crazy glue and nails to turn a rocking chair into just a chair that looks like a rocking chair.

When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.

I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.

The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.

When they were naming the animals, somebody got lazy: anteater? What's it doing? It's eating ants. DONE!

One time I saw an old man in a hurry and I thought, 'That makes sense.'

When I used to go on the Wikipedia page, and I haven't gone on the page in a while, there used to be some guy who was doing my page and he would say that he was my cousin and I was going to be doing projects with him. I don't know who this person is and I don't have a cousin by this name and this person keeps saying that they're doing projects with me. It's so weird.