When I was in high school I experimented sexually. The experiment was to never have sex with anybody no matter how hard I tried. Success! Hypothesis confirmed.

I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like if a bird sh*t all over them.

I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.

I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.

It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

To make even fewer friends try talking about politics as much as you talk about yourself.