Sometimes, when something really great happens to me, I like to wait two weeks before I tell anyone about it, because I like to use the word 'fortnight'.

Sometimes it looks like I'm dancing, but it's just that I walked into a spider web.

I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed.'

They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that.

Wind chimes are also earthquake chimes.

As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.

Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.