I like stand-up. But I'd also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues; and on good film sets, there's people there that work with the same people for years and years. I love that collaborative spirit in that medium. Comedy is a lot more solitary.

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

I wanna buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make them live together.

I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.

I love Steven Wright.

Suicide is the #1 killer of a person who is in a boat and happens to be passing under a bridge at the wrong time.

You know what's the greatest part of anything ever in the history of everything? Exaggeration. No, wait; it's correcting yourself. No, better yet, it's making lists.