When I trip, I feel like that's the world saying come here for a second. It just pulls me closer for a second, yeah what do you want? I just want to remind you that you're uncoordinated. I'm aware of that, thank you... can I go now? Yeah, you can go, but never ever try to outrun me. Ok, world, see you later. Yeah, I'll see you in about 50 years.

As a creative person, you want to have a foothold and sense of progress.

If you really think about it, hitting the snooze button in the morning doesn't even make sense. It's like saying, 'I hate getting up in the morning-so I do it over... and over... and over again.'

It seems that two of the most basic forms of comedy are jokes and stories. And, of course, they are not mutually exclusive.

When someone shows you a picture of their kids what they don't want to hear is Oh, yeah, I got pictures of your kid too.

If I had a bookstore I would make all the mystery novels hard to find.

There is probably more invisible tape out there than we realize.