When I trip, I feel like that's the world saying come here for a second. It just pulls me closer for a second, yeah what do you want? I just want to remind you that you're uncoordinated. I'm aware of that, thank you... can I go now? Yeah, you can go, but never ever try to outrun me. Ok, world, see you later. Yeah, I'll see you in about 50 years.
Demetri MartinI love having an open seat next to me on the train. What's even better is when my seat is open too because I just stayed home.
Demetri MartinI'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.
Demetri MartinI used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.
Demetri MartinI am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.
Demetri Martin