If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.

There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool.

Laborers want their kids to be merchants or business people. Business people want their kids to be professionals. Professionals want their kids to be academics, professors. Academics want their kids to be artists. And artists don't care if their kids are laborers or not. They can be anything.

Sometimes heckling can almost help a set, because it ratchets up the tension in the room... can even bring things to a climax.

Batteries are the most dramatic object. Other things stop working or they break, But Batteries... They Die.

Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'

Skeet shooting is probably more satisfying if you really hate skeets.