If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.

Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.

I love Buster Keaton and I love physical comedy when it's done in an emotionally understated way. I just like to play it, and I need the attention.

When I used to go on the Wikipedia page, and I haven't gone on the page in a while, there used to be some guy who was doing my page and he would say that he was my cousin and I was going to be doing projects with him. I don't know who this person is and I don't have a cousin by this name and this person keeps saying that they're doing projects with me. It's so weird.

I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.

A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.

When I was in high school I experimented sexually. The experiment was to never have sex with anybody no matter how hard I tried. Success! Hypothesis confirmed.