I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.

Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.

The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.

When I first heard the term 'training bra,' I was freaked out. I was pretty young and I said, 'Did you just say training bra? They're training their chests? I had no idea.' See some lady, her boobs are everywhere. 'What's her deal?' Those are untrained titties.

Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks.

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

When someone shows you a picture of their kids what they don't want to hear is Oh, yeah, I got pictures of your kid too.