For me, possibility, progress, growth, those things are very.. they feel very good. It doesn't usually come with negativity. I don't really mind sucking at something as long as I'm getting a little bit better at it along the way.

It turns out dentists don't like it very much when you show up for a cleaning in full vampire gear.

Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?

I love Steven Wright.

Mosquito bites Jesus, receives communion.

I have a time machine at home. It only goes forward at regular speed

I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.