For me, possibility, progress, growth, those things are very.. they feel very good. It doesn't usually come with negativity. I don't really mind sucking at something as long as I'm getting a little bit better at it along the way.

I was watching MTV and there were girls dancing in suspended cages. That would be an ambivalent situation: "I'm trapped! ...but enjoying the music".

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

If I had a bookstore I would make all the mystery novels hard to find.

When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.

I wonder if it's rude for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands.

But long story short, I didn't start doing stand-up because I wanted to have a TV show or be an actor or even wanted to write sketch comedy. I got into stand-up because I love stand-up.