Game, set, match equals tennis. Set, match, run equals arson.

Statistics indicate that the average American is a guy named Brian who lives in Ohio.

Villains fear me because I am unpredictable and broccoli. See what I mean?

Yes" actually means "No" 100% of the time, when the question is "Can I give you some advice?

Clowns have no respect for pie.

You need an audience to help you figure out what's working and what's worth putting on your album or your special - or even just what's worth touring with.

If I had a bookstore I would make all the mystery novels hard to find.