Game, set, match equals tennis. Set, match, run equals arson.

Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.

I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, "Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good." Hopefully it balances out.

To be creative, first I need to be really organized. If my apartment's messy I need to clean it. It's like before you start doing your homework or studying for a test, you have to have a clean room.

They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.