I bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it... so I just added "ish" to every number.

I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie.

Sometimes I feel like I'm making a connection with a stranger, but then it turns out I'm not. Like, I was in a mall, and I saw this lady hitting her kid. So I went up to her, and I was like, "Yeah, get him!" She got all mad at me. I was like, "I'm on your side here."

You need an audience to help you figure out what's working and what's worth putting on your album or your special - or even just what's worth touring with.

I have never been in a bad mood and near a beach ball at the same time. Causation? Correlation? Or fate?

You always hear about the guy who was raised by wolves. You never hear about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves. The problem is, you have a non-wolf imparting wolf teachings.

My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.