I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like if a bird sh*t all over them.

I wonder if it's rude for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands.

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.

If you are wearing a bandana you better have something wise to say, because you are starting with a credibility deficit.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

I went whale watching once. It was very similar to watching people on a boat become disappointed.