I like parties, but I don't like piñatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there's a donkey with some pizzazz. Let's kick its ass.

I like people, for a little while.

A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'

I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.

I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.