I need to develop some patience - immediately.

I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.

Bowling would be more interesting if it were slightly uphill.

Vampires probably don't have great breath.

Like a lot of people, I’ve always enjoyed commenting on strangers’ outfits. Unlike a lot of people, I now had a new megaphone to do it with. And, let me tell you, commenting on people’s hilarious clothing choices through a megaphone makes it so much better.

I think the most annoying language is a tie between all the ones I don't know how to speak.

Once I started to look i finally began to see.